This is unedited and subject to change.
Not liking where this conversation is going, I go to grab her face and kiss her but she pushes me away.
“Don’t do that?” she says.
“Do what? Kiss you?” I ask.
“No, try to distract me. Your using kisses to avoid saying something. Just tell me, Josh,” she says, in a hushed whisper as her eyes become glassy.
“No,” I reply.
“No?” she asks.
“I need to kiss you, and it’s your birthday, and I just want to kiss you, Riley. Can I kiss you?” I admit. Her eyes climb inside of me, seeing through to the deepest part of my soul. They flick to my lips and she begins to take shallow breaths. She feels this, too. The constant pull—the magnetism between us—it’s impossible to ignore.
She slowly nods, but I find myself already leaning over to kiss her nose and then each of her eyes. She doesn’t stop me. She inhales a deep breath and slowly releases it. I kiss the corner of her mouth as her lips part. I kiss her bottom lip, pulling it gently between my teeth. She softly moans.
I will never get over the way her sounds get to me. I reach my hand to cup her cheek, and she leans her face into my touch. I kiss her because I have to, because if I don’t kiss her right now—I can’t breathe. I kiss her because even though I feel lost and confused in this moment, she is there—out of nowhere, she appeared as if she were a sign sent to tell me it’s going to be okay—like an angel before me. I kiss her and she kisses me with the same passion—embracing the same moment.
Her tears are falling onto my fingers and I can taste the salt in my mouth as it mixes with our kiss. I rest my head on her forehead, as we both stay silent—just breathing each other in.
“Don’t, Riley. Don’t say it. Not yet. Just let me love you, please.” I beg, because I know what she wants to say. She keeps trying to start this conversation and I’m just not ready.
I hate that she has tears on her cheeks. I hate that she knows more than I want her to. I hate that I can’t explain it and I hate that I don’t know what she is thinking.
© Copyright 2014 by Andrea Michelle