When I hit publish...

So... I'm just going to throw this out there (not a rant, but confession of sorts). Here it is. 

When I released my debut, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I used my good friends as beta's who basically said "I love it. You're awesome." I used a proofreader instead of hiring an editor. I paid for a pre-made book cover, later changed it to what it is now, and still yet it's getting changed in a few weeks. I didn't have blog connections. I followed reviews as a reader, but to say I could PM them and say, "hey get this shit. I wrote a book. Wanna read it?" That wasn't happening. So, I was clueless. 

I didn't think anyone would really want to read my book, nor did I think it was worth much, even though my entire heart was in those pages. I listed it for .99 as a marketing tool. Now, you can read the above and see my many mistakes. Again... learning as I go.

 My husband and I were sitting down tonight, adding up the cost of truly investing in my passion. Not just saying I want to do this, but going all in and doing this. Hiring an editor, advertisement, swag, book signings, paperbacks, tours etc. What is my investment and what will be my return? 

Since releasing in October I made about $30. I didn't see a return on my investment. That sucked. When he pointed that out to me I wanted to cry. Because... see I was good enough. My book was worth more than .99 pennies. My reviews told me that. I should have done more research and made more connections before releasing. But more than that I should have been patient and believed in myself. When I wrote it all down tonight, I saw it. I sold 116 books since October, 3 refunded (fuckers) but my point is I SHOULD HAVE made way more than $30. I should have profited. I didn't because I listed wrong and because I screwed myself. DON'T DO THAT! 

I see many of you about to hit publish for the first time. Many disagree with the black hole of pennies. Just don't. You're hard work is worth more than pennies. You are worth more! If I could go back to October and get a do over. God, how I would. I would do it all over again in the correct order. I would succeed. So onto my next goal. Release book two for dollars not cents, re-release book one with edits (both in paperback and ebook) -AND- most importantly believe in myself, because I can do this shit. I WILL DO THIS. 

That's a lot of TMI for y'all. I needed to say it. That is all.